9 Ways To Worry Less Than You Need To

Problems, problems everywhere. We live in a culture where uncertainty and anxiety are becoming the accepted norm. However, there are some things that people tend to worry about way more than they should. They include:

How other people see you.

People worry about how others see them. They do this by analyzing other people’s behavior in response to their actions to form anon of how they are being perceived. This is a tremendous waste of your energy. First, it means you spend a lot of time thinking about other people. Second, other people’s opinions dictate what you do with your life. Third, worrying about how others see you is usually based on assumptions.

When you catch yourself guessing how other people see you, assume you have a 50/5Youof being right. Sure, you may be right in your assessment, but you may just as likely be wrong.

Being taken advantage of.

I spent my childhood being told to be alert for scams and the tricks of “bad people”. While it makes sense to be vigilant, this mindset can easily go overboard. It can make you feel like the world is full of predators out to get you and that it’s your job to be on constant guard. It’s exhausting and makes life feel more dangerous than it is.

Remind yourself that most people are good, or at least are simply trying to do the best they can.

Saying the wrong thing.

Perhaps it is the fear or public humiliation that worries people about saying the wrong thing. Maybe it is an assumption that others might think you are stupid. Either way, this irrational fear can stop you from speaking up. It can even distract you while taking, and thus, increase the chances of saying something silly. This can create a self re-enforcing cycle, sending you back into your shell in the future. Instead of being negative and ashamed of a desire to say something, approach the situation with a genuine curiosity for the conversation.

When considering whether you should speak up, replace negative thoughts, like “I am not qualified to talk on this”, with curious thoughts like “this will be interesting, and I wonder where this will take me”.

Not being liked.

We are social creatures that want to feel like we are liked, and we don’t like the feeling of being disliked. Apart from being a source of anxiety, the desire to be liked can drive you to do things that are not necessarily good for you but will help you feel like you are avoiding conflict. These feelings are often based on your perception and assumptions. Also, it is up to others to decide whether or not they like you. Your job is to try your best and stick to your values.

The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. Ichiro Kishimi, The Courage to Be Disliked.

Making a mistake.

People worry about making mistakes. However, mistakes are a sign that you’re trying new things and pushing outside of your comfort zone. Instead, you should worry if you are not making any mistakes at all. This is a sign that you are stagnated. The only way to succeed is by taking risks and making mistakes. Think of mistakes as lessons and opportunities to grow and learn.

“Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.” Bruce Lee

Receiving Criticism.

Receiving criticism can be hard, and it can be easy to get defensive. This is especially true if you take the criticism personally. That said, constructive criticism is essential for improvement.

Rather than reacting to criticism, seek to respond. Connect the feedback to your role or work, not yourself. Ask questions, don’t challenge. Remind yourself that you are in control, and ultimately, you choose what to do with the criticism.

Being Judged.

Nobody likes the feeling of being judged or evaluated by others. When left unchecked, this can lead to intense anxiety and an aversion towards everyday things, like going to work, taking on a new project or speaking up in a meeting.

It is important, however, to remember that, generally speaking, most people are too busy worrying about themselves to judge you. Also, how you are judged is often more a reflection of the fears and prejudices of the person judging (than on you).

Don’t slow yourself down worrying how others will incorrectly perceive your intent or underestimate your ability. Focus on yourself and have confidence in your ability. Follow through with your ideas and simply try your best.

Regretting Choices Later On.

This is a reason why people don’t make like making big decisions. They worry that they might regret their decision later on. So instead of making a choice and dealing with potential regret, they avoid making the decision altogether.

While it is true that you may avoid the regret of a bad decision, people often ignore that they may also regret making NO decision. Also, if you decide and then regret your choice, you at least have the opportunity to learn from a mistake.

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. Theodore Roosevelt

Not getting what we want.

People worry about not getting what they want, like a job promotion, a new car, or having a good day. This fear of not achieving our goals can prevent us from acting toward them. It is important to remember that not getting what we want is a normal part of life. We can always learn from our failures and try again.

It is also important to remember that some things we want may not be the best for us in the long run. Sometimes it’s better to let go and move on to something else.